You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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