I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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