She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
3pm strippers are depressing
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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