Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
