I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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