if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
How's work?
Spinning.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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