how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
