ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
