Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize