Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
my phone needs a breathalizer
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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