I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
