I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
