dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
