Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
