You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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