It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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