I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
im having a threesome with these popsicles
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
