I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
