I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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