Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
