WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
