EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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