Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
