I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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