He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
