he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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