I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
