I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
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i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
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There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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