are you so shy because you have an std?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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