he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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