His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
