I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
