I hate your face
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
