i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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