she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
