Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
