You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
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she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
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I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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