I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
