cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
