i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
