he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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