he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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