Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
