First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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