Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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