I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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