This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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