when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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