Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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