I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
