I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
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I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
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Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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