Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I AM VODKA MAN
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
