I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
