Its about making memories worth repressing
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
