well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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