she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
