You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
