Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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