Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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