I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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