you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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