Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I think I just sharted jello shots
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
