Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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