Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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