oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
