Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
